this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
