I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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