How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
