so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
