he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
