Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
