I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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