roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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