But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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