Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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