Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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