Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
