I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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