called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
why do cheetos always look like penises
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
