Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize