just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
