he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Even my vagina gasped.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
