Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
