i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Let's paint friendship bongs
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
