so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
