We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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