Where did you get a picture of my penis
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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