why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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