you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
