taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
