hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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