So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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