The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
