rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
