If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
