your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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