somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
