We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
