i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
