hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
