you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So vagazzling was a success
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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