he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
