fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
