i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
