i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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