This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
