THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
