I think I won the penis lottery.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
