can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize