i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
