I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
