the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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