State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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