There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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