where am i from again
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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