can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize