We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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