I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
