I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
