It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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