can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
