i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
