So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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