You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
