she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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